Sweet Determination
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Who would it be?

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Who would it be?

Who would it be?

My younger birth brother, Joe :).

Only 10 months after my birth, our mother learned she was pregnant with her fifth child. Married with three older children, I am thinking it would be fair to say she found herself in an unintended situation for the second time in a very short period of time. Both my younger birth brother and I were placed for adoption in separate homes after our births. Although my birth brother chooses not to meet me, I have a story I would love to share with him. I don’t think it could be just an hour conversation though, but perhaps an on-going one that lasts the rest of our lives.

When I was first searching for my birth father, the same person’s name kept coming up as a possibility. They identified him as a person who had been the Mayor of the small mining town where our mother, her miner husband, and our siblings had lived. By all accounts, the Mayor had been well-respected and those I spoke with said they had truly felt sorry for him. His wife had been the town drunk and often humiliated him.

Since my birth brother and I are close in age, I never gave it any thought we would have different fathers. I don’t know if it would be that I was naive or just that I can’t wrap my mind around things like that.

Well, years ago, I had the opportunity to talk with one of the late Mayor’s close friends on the phone. I must say that many of the individuals I’ve met in searching for answers in my adoption journey have been kind and receptive in talking with me. Few had the mindset that I didn’t deserve answers.

The older woman explained to me that over the years the Mayor talked about his birth son by name that had been placed for adoption. Although he had apparently never met my little brother or didn’t try to make contact, the Mayor knew of his whereabouts. I got teary-eyed myself when she then shared with me, “Oh, my, he was so proud of his son’s accomplishments with his high-profile career.”

The last thing the Mayor’s close friend said before hanging up is, “I am sorry Sweetheart. He never mentioned anything about having a daughter … only a son.”

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  1. Oh, I am so sad for those girls. To have lost you once because of their mother’s decision, and then to have lost you again because of their own short-sightedness. They really missed out. I’m sorry you did, too 🙁
  2. So sad, what a terrible experience. and I know it was only one of many for you. Love you friend!!!
  3. This fills me with sadness: “No child should have to continually try to make a parent love them.” What a tragedy that your mother was not able to accept love from you. My guess is that deep down, she didn’t feel lovable, and she had to cover that shameful fact up with a bunch of br…
  4. It’s insane that these findings were made but nothing was done about it. All these years later, you are still waiting for the wrongs to be righted.
  5. I love you❤