Where could I have turned for help?
And all this nonsense started because my parents would only say my birth certificate was “missing.”
For over 30 years, I begged someone to please tell me the truth to the many lies and secrets involving my so-called adoption. From having spoken to so many people: the doctor who delivered me and to whom I was discharged to late in the evening; my pediatrician whose name is on my birth records and was my doctor until the age of 6; the Courts (including judges and supervisors); Child Welfare Services; Vital Statistics; lawyers; Saint Mary’s Hospital; Catholic Charities who refuted the doctor’s claim that he took babies home for their agency (they had an incomplete adoption application for my parents still on file); and the Roman Catholic Diocese; I deserved honest explanations. But for the most part, it seemed like everybody I spoke with was more worried that they might let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, if they were to help me. Instead they continued to keep giving me sketchy court documents that made no sense at all, or they would tell me that their agency files for me as a helpless newborn were alarmingly empty.
When I read these disturbing public records after all these years, what makes me the angriest I believe is how many people had to know that some adoptions that took place during the time I was born were done fraudulently. Sadly, they had little regard for the best interests of the child or even that of the mother placing the child for adoption.
For me personally, it raises an ethical issue. As a child who was once supposed to have been placed for adoption at birth, and where obviously, something went terribly wrong, didn’t I deserve the courts to explain all the discrepancies in my adoption records without it costing me so much emotionally and financially? How could the facts be confidential, when the deception had nothing to do with revealing the names of ones’ birth parents? When my affluent parents refused to tell me the truth, where could I have turned for help?