The two of us

the two us

I just realized something last night … not only do I look more like our mother than any of my four other siblings, but there are some more amazing similarities between the two of us. My birth mother gave birth to her first child (daughter) at the age of 22 on November 15th. I gave birth to my first child (daughter) Tracy at the age of 22 on November 12th. And I never noticed this either, our birthdays are less than two weeks apart. She was born on May 26th and I was born on June 4th. My four siblings were born in January, February and November.

My birth mother passed away less than 15 months to the exact day that my adoptive mother remarried and moved us to CA from NV with her new husband (my stepfather). I always wondered if I could have possibly felt something from afar when the woman who gave me life passed away. I remember that time period in my life specifically being one of great sadness. I didn’t often cry as a little girl, nothing like the flood of tears I do sometimes now :). But my close-in-age adopted brother and I had already attended three different elementary schools since kindergarten; one of those three schools we attended two separate times.

Yes, at only 8 years old, around the same time my birth mother passed away, I sobbed. My parents informed me and my adopted brother that we were moving again … this time from Santa Rosa to Sacramento, CA. I couldn’t put my feelings into words back then. I know now—my tears were for all the losses, including for my birth mother who I had shared so much in common. Not only did I look just like her, but we had the same laugh, we cocked our head the same way, and our mannerisms mirrored one another according to her relatives.

Nobody can tell me that, although I only spent the first nine months growing inside of her, our hearts and spirits weren’t always somehow deeply intertwined. ♥

Author: JoAnne

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  1. Nice post. The pictures are great.

  2. I think there are all sorts of connection, some are seen and some are felt. You and your mother do have something very special, something that spans space and time.

  3. Your article speaks to the deep pain that can exist in adoption. Being completely cut off from our origins is so wrong.

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