Previous post




I still shake my head in disbelief. When I was searching for my birth father, a woman called me collect in regards to an inquiry I sent out. She described herself as having been so-called friends with my late birth mother. Supposedly, my birth mother was a very private woman. She was able to somehow keep her pregnancy a secret from almost everyone in a small mining town. When I met my half-siblings, the two oldest said they didn’t even know back when they were teenagers that our average-built mother was expecting me. No, she didn’t go away for nine months either, but rather continued to raise her three children alongside her husband.

Going on with our brief phone conversation, the lady said that my birth mother had borrowed money from her. She followed it by saying half-laughingly, “Now, I know what it was used for!” These days $75 doesn’t seem like a lot, but I learned that it was a substantial amount during that time period. A person would have to work full-time for approximately four weeks in the 1950s to come up with that amount according to an article I read on CNN. Coincidently, the CNN author who was born close to the same year as me, quoted around the same amount for his hospital and delivery charges.

I don’t believe most people could misread this woman’s insinuation that the debt was somehow related to my birth. Part of me wondered if my birth mother had ever paid her back the money and why she felt it was necessary to bring it up in the first place.

No matter how hard I have tried, I can’t seem to make all the confusing puzzle pieces fit together about my beginnings. Even if it was a private adoption, why would my birth mother pay for the hospital charges, or pay the doctor who delivered me? The same doctor who I was then discharged to late in the evening five days after my birth.

What I do know about my not-above-board adoption is there was no adoption agency or involvement with any public service agency, such as child services. However, a prominent judge, an overzealous doctor, an elusive lawyer who had no license to practice law in the state where I was born, had obviously pulled off some kind of fraudulent scheme to hand me off to my new parents without raising any red flags. Why would anyone put their reputation and high-profile positions on the line if there was not some kind of personal gain/profit from what one was doing?

Since I’ve had to pay dearly for others’ wrongs, I would ask that if you are trying to help a friend or even a stranger to do something that has to be done secretly or under the table, even with a good heart or the best of intentions, please don’t try to play God.

My adoptive mother was excellent at her career as an RN for premature infants (at a different hospital than where I was born). Yet there were valid reasons that couldn’t be disputed as to why my parents should never have been able to adopt children. Sadly, they were also as much to blame for their poor choices in keeping me under false pretenses.

(Visited 89 times, 22 visits today)
Written by

  • Lorene Fairchild says:

    I can’t help but feel there are still unknown pieces to your birth/adoption narrative. So much here defies logic. There is NO reason why your mother should have had to pay for any of the hospital bills. It just doesn’t make sense. If she was a nurse working with babies in a hospital she must have known adoption procedures including the fact that it was the APs who paid the bills. If she had borrowed the money prior to your birth for labor & delivery could she have been considering keeping you at that time, hence the need to borrow the money???

  • JoAnne says:

    It was my adoptive mother that was an RN. You are so right Lorene, my birth/adoption narrative defies logic. But another adoptee wrote a book about this particular delivery doctor. She was born several years after me. In talking with her, the adoptee said she was given to her adoptive parents in exchange for money the doctor owed them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Well written! Thanks for sharing I really connected with this one. Peace and Love!
  2. So sad, what a terrible experience. and I know it was only one of many for you. Love you friend!!!
  3. This fills me with sadness: “No child should have to continually try to make a parent love them.” What a tragedy that your mother was not able to accept love from you. My guess is that deep down, she didn’t feel lovable, and she had to cover that shameful fact up with a bunch of br…
  4. It’s insane that these findings were made but nothing was done about it. All these years later, you are still waiting for the wrongs to be righted.
  5. I love you❤