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Born in Reno, Nevada, in the early 1950s, I was placed for adoption at birth. I am thankful that my mother gave me the gift of life. Conceived from an affair, I do see the choices for her difficult predicament were limited.
Unfortunately, my beginnings after that point never magically turned into one of those happily-ever-after fairy tales. With my adoption story cluttered by deception, I have often wondered if even God was fooled by how I ended up in an alcoholic home. It’s not clear why the file for the state, that was supposed to be protecting my best interests as a newborn, is empty.
Disappointingly, there are no doubts when you hear my life story that I was given the short end of the straw when it comes to “parents.” As if others are looking over my shoulder, my personal journey has been a testimony of courage, strength and undying hopefulness in the struggles I’ve been dealt.
Many times over the years, I have pleaded with God to stop the hurt I feel, whenever I’ve endured too much sadness in my life. However, I believe it’s how we choose to live the life we are blessed with that will be important in Heaven. I have realized that the scars I carry from my past are not something that I can change. Yet, I have grown tremendously as a person from the pain.
Back in high school, I loved my writing class with Miss Zupancic, but none of the adults in my life ever said, “You have a gift, share it with the world.” Maybe I just wasn’t that good at putting my heart into words back then, but I know it was the little nudges like writing a term paper for Mr. Latour’s Civic class and receiving an “A” that encouraged me to keep believing in myself. Now I do hear positive feedback from editors who have published my stories/articles.
While growing up, I never lived anywhere long enough to feel like I truly belonged. But I feel fortunate that I have reconnected and stayed in touch with a number of my friends/classmates since way back in grade school. Thank you for caring and not judging me for the confusing parts of my life that I can’t change.
For almost 40 years, I’ve been married to a good, hard-working man. My husband and our three daughters have been my silver-lining through some difficult chapters of my life. To know we have succeeded at raising our girls to show love, kindness, and respect for others has been by far the most rewarding achievement. As a wife and mother, I feel incredibly blessed.
What I learned is that each of us has struggled at some time or another with the tough stuff in our lives, but it most certainly doesn’t define our strengths or who we are as human beings.